28 ноября 2011 г.

#38 correction

We can consider the past as the product of both our memories and our history. [How can I reveal the idea of general thing and particular one? ] These two interpretations will both influence our understanding of whether the past has value for those of us living in the present. [interpretation interpretation interpretation interpretation interpretation interpretation] In my opinion, it is essential not to forget the history and lives of our ancestors, including both their victories and losses. [loss loss loss loss loss loss loss loss loss] By carefully considering our past through both the study of history and preservation of memory, we can learn from our collective experiences and better function in the present. [ Could I rewrite my sentence as "Taking all this into account we learn how to orient in global processes and function better in the present."?]

Though every person has powerful memories, it is best to follow the good and honorable elements of our past. If we do not, bad, dark memories could potentially destroy our souls and minds. [example and counterexample, arguably, It will never be proven, counterexample, counterexample, counterexample, counterexample, arguably, arguable, arguably, arguable, argubly, arguably, arguably, It will never be proven absolutely, it will never be proven absolutely, it will never be proved absolutely, proven absolutely, proved absolutely] [merge paragraphs, merge companies, merge sentences, merge merge merge, merge previous and next sentence, previous previous previous, stubby stubby stubby sentence, stubby figure, stubby man] For example, my grandmother is a person who values only the past. Although she lived through World War II and endured terrible conditions, she could have kept cheerful spirits and had a positive view of life as many her contemporaries. [contemporary contemporary contemporary contemporary contemporary, to endure, endure, endure difficulties, endure bad conditions, endure, endure] Instead, she cries about her difficulties and remember her past faults every day. That is a reason why she is not content with her current life and she thinks that nothing could be better. She refuses to accept the future and to improve her own lifestyle and her mood.

My brother is an example of the opposite case. [we can hash that out , we can hash that out, we can hash that out, we can hash that out, we can hash that out] He respects the past and he is interested very in it, but his attitude towards life very active and strong. My brother doesn't turn back and count his mistakes or how many times he missed success. Therefore, he is a person who works hard, develops [develop - develops - developed - develop - develops - developed] himself according to the modern world. I think this is a perfect approach to life. He values all historical stages of our society but he is not limited by the past.

In conclusion, the life of person who lives in the present and doesn't value learning about the past is not an appropriate model. However, we should apprehend and analyse our past turning it into an experience and not into awful memories, grief and regret that will darken our present.

Two broad, general suggestions:
*Be sure to restate the question in some form at the beginning of your paper
*If you want to combine two sentences, "Though" is a great way to start. for example, if you had the sentences: "My hat is really warm. But it was very expensive."
that could become:
"Though my hat was very expensive, it is really warm." <--this would be a good option if, on the balance, you're glad you bought the hat.
OR
"Though my hat is really warm, it was very expensive." <--the hat is warm, but mostly just a waste of money.

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