5 декабря 2011 г.

#115 correction


If we visit any book shop we will see the enormous amount of literature that tells us how to organize our time and get  great results in business or everyday life. Nowadays, time management is very popular for the following reasons.
First of all, there is a lot of information and activities we deal with and their quantity increases year after the year. [I would make this sentence less passive: "First of all, we deal with more and more information and activities every year."] New technologies, inventions, [the word "methods" is really vague and requires some sort of specificity, either through context or an adjective. For example: scientific methods, methods of communication. Or if it's clear that you're talking about an experiment or something, you can just say "methods."] and other modern developments require[] our attention. The living standard has doubled during the 20th century. Therefore, we need to organize our time and plan activities not only for our free time but also for every moment of the day. We are a business generation and we should manage to do everything at appropriate time. The privilege [privilege privilege privilege] to waste hours [hours hours hours hours]  in gardens watching flowers and listening to birds is in the Middle Ages.

On the other hand, the main problem of our society is the lack of freedom. Schedules and excessive planning limit[s] (???) our imagination and ability (ability ability ability ability ability) to make spontaneous (spontaneous spontaneous) decisions. [Many] (??? Why not “a lot of”??) people get stressed [stressed - this is the same as the difference between "enjoyable" and "I enjoyed it" - the people's *activities* are stressful - the people are not stressful] because they feel like a bird in the cage. By no] creating any plans, we can receive some unexpected suggestions and find solutions hidden deep in our souls. This would be a good and healthy surprise. [You can only really say "look like" if you're talking about physical appearance. I added healthy so the sentence would be a bit longer after my edits :)]

In my opinion, people should consider both approaches to life. ("match" would usually be used for clothing - hey, your dress matches your necklace!)] On one hand, we can benefit by (try to avoid saying "get benefits" - it's nicer to use it as a verb "to benefit") planning our activities to make our time effective. On the other hand, we [should (if you're recommending something, you should use "should" rather than "can" - as I just did!)] avoid making a severe timetable and feel comfortable searching for spontaneous / nonpresumable (sudden is more like вдруг - a sudden event would be like if a bird came flying through the window and pooping on the oven)] events and thinking of unusual activities.

As for me, I try to plan my day, especially when I study. It helps me not to miss something very important. My free time depends on my work and education and I'am not able not to think about planning. This often annoys (annoys annoyed annoying annoy annoys ) me because of the absence of freedom that I described (mentioned is a fine word but makes it sound really casual - give yourself some more credit by saying "described" - it makes your writing sound more important!] above.

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